Thursday, April 10, 2008

Oh. My. Hell.

There was a faint stale smell in the kitchen on Tuesday. Before I scurried off to work, I emptied the garbage, wiped out the microwave, ground some lemon rind in the disposal. That smell would be all gone by the time I got home that night.

It wasn't. In fact it was a little bit worse. I kind of chose the path of avoidance behavior last night and just didn't deal with it.

Now, this morning, it was getting serious. I knew I was going to have to launch a real investigation. But I had to get to work, and then rehearsal. That brings us to 9:00 p.m. when I got home.

Bloody hell. I was at the crossroads. Do I actually find what is stinking to high heaven, or do I just set the house on fire and run and never look back? This had to be dealt with, and it couldn't wait another moment. I started peeking into all the nooks and crannies in the kitchen. Did I drop a blob of cat food between the cabinets? Did a piece of food fall down behind the washing machine? And all the time I'm thinking please in the name of all that is mighty let me find this before I have to move the refrigerator.

But I've looked everywhere and I still smell the smell. I screw up my courage, because I can be brave when I have no choice, and I slowly slide the fridge away from the wall. There, all crumpled and tucked in the corner are the remains of (gag a bit) a LITTLE. BROWN. BUNNY. As soon as the bunny remains are exposed, Maggie the cat comes darting into the kitchen and makes a beeline for the dead bunny, ever so happy to be reunited with her lost toy.

I won't go into the gory details of the cleanup. Let's just say the smell is gone and I will be changed forever.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh good God I'm so sorry. Our cats are always shoving their toys underneath the sofas, entertainment center, behind the fridge, etc...I'm so grateful right now that they are FAKE mice. blech.

pnlkotula said...

Oh, I just knew reading the story, there would be an unpleasant end. Think happy thoughts...

JB said...

I didn't do it.

PS - I am about to move into the "house of Curry" - do you know how I get a smell like that out of the house??

Princess Crabass said...

You actually removed a dead BUNNY from your kitchen by yourself (I was thinking mouse, chipmunk maybe)? If that were me, I would have been dragging Scott Melton across the street to get that thing out of the house. I can't even look at dead things, let alone touch them! You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

Janine Serresseque said...

JB, now we can be sisters in dead rabbithood! Sister-woman-sister!
I don't know about getting the curry smell out. I would start with washing anything fabric that the previous people may have left, like curtains? And carpet. And walls. I had a darling apartment once that reeked of the previous tenant's cheap cologne. It eventually went away but it took several weeks.
I literally was afraid to get out of bed this morning because I thought the smell would still be there. It wasn't though!

Robinitaface said...

I gasped so loudly reading this story, Husband thought somebody died!

Anonymous said...

You can slide your fridge away from the wall by yourself?! That, coupled with the fact you survived finding the bunny makes you Superwoman.

Jacquie O. said...

This is why I have indoor cats. I am afraid to kill a bug (just ask Joe Pabst.)