Thursday, June 12, 2008

Guys and Dolls this weekend!

I went over to the theatre today to record the pre-show announcement for Guys and Dolls, which opens this weekend. I popped into the theatre to check out the set and it looks fantastic!! I'd post a picture of it on here, but I'm fairly sure I'd be violating some kind of intellectual property law.

I do most of the pre-show announcements for Theatre IV and Barksdale. They're pretty standard--okay, I'll say it--they're pretty dull. What fun it would be to do the pre-show announcement of my dreams...

Good evening, and welcome to Barksdale Theatre's performance of Guys and Dolls, performed at Richmond's historic Empire Theatre.

Please don't take pictures or tape this show. You know you're not supposed to. We tell you a hundred times and there are signs all over the place. If I catch you taking pictures, you will be shaken and have your hair pulled.

And for the love of Pete turn off your cell phone. I know you don't think I mean you. If I hear your phone ring, I'm going to snatch it from you and give it to the first bum I see on Broad Street.

If anybody in your party becomes peckish for a cellophane wrapped treat or overly chatty, we'd like to warn you that you will be required to walk the walk of shame from the theatre and made to sit in the crying baby area for the rest of the show.

We encourage you to get really liquored up at intermission. The actors will like you a lot better if you're tipsy. And speaking of tipsy, be sure to tip those bartenders generously! "Tips that go clank" (thank you Andy Boothby) are not considered generous.

Now do as you're told and enjoy the show!


jpabst said...


So, when I was recording the Pre-show speech for "Greater Tuna", I asked Bruce if I could "Tuna-fy" it a bit. He said he would love that! So I did. Here is the text (as best as I can remember it...):

(Read w/East Texas twang)
"Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to the Barksdale The-a-ter at Hanover Tavern and our production of 'Greater Tuna' by Jaston Williams, Joe Sears & Ed Howard. Now, we got a few announcements to give y'all before we get started.

"First off, don't be takin' any pichures or otherwise recordin' the production 'cuz it's AGAINST THE LAW... and we'd hate to have to get the Sheriff out here to talk to you 'bout it.

"Also, if y'all have any o' them cell phones or other electronic doo-dads that beep & chirp & whistle & twang, well y'all go ahead and turn them off right now. We want everyone to be able to enjoy the production. And you know, if it's importan' enough, whoever it is'll call ya back.

"We got some kind people to thank as well. The Supply Room Co. is helpin' us out with some of our office supply needs. And the Richmond Times-Dispatch is our media sponsor. These folks have been kind enough to lend us their support, and we hope you give 'em your's as well.

"Now, we're gonna do this show in two acts, but we're gonna give you a break in between 'em of about 15 minutes so you can get up, stretch your legs... take care of any other business you may have. And just an FYI -- the bar WILL BE OPEN. (So that's some good news...)

"All right, let's get this show on the road! Y'all relax now, and enjoy 'Greater Tuna'!

"Thank ya!"

Sometimes it gets a laugh; sometimes not. I must say, the pre-show speech for "The Odd Couple" -- when I interspersed various cell phone rings throughout before telling everyone to silence them -- was probably my most clever to date. I'll have to think of something fun for "Driving Miss Daisy"!

Janine Serresseque said...

I remember that Greater Tuna speech! I loved it. I love the whole idea of a fun pre-show speech. Otherwise the audience doesn't pay a bit of attention to it.

pnlkotula said...

Whenever Harry Kollatz gave the curtain speech before the Cabaret, he asked patrons to put their cells on the "recreational setting" - cracked me up every time!

JB said...

Best post ever! Made me shoot sprite out of my nose.

Jason M. said...

I would truly pay money to hear that every night before we went on for "Guys & Dolls." In fact, you should record it just for fun, and on a day when we have only 20 people, all over the age of 80 in the house, we should play it just for a laugh. Too funny.