Monday, June 1, 2009

The Junk Food Junkie Antidote!

I grew up on crap food, and I freely admit that I loved it.

Every once in a while I'll drive past a Burger King or a McDonald's or Hardeee's and I will almost get sucked in by that comforting greasy smell. The smell that is exactly the same, whether you are in Richmond, Paris, London, or Singapore.

Next time you feel a binge coming on, go to a website called This is Why You're Fat. This website is a photo gallery of the most excessive, cholesterol laden, ridiculously overindulgent and thoroughly disgusting dishes ever created. Scroll down through one hideous dish after the next, and you will soon find yourself feeling queasy and yearning for something fresh and plant-like. If this website should happen to make you salivate and feel ravenously hungry, please seek counseling and/or incarceration immediately.



This example is called The Sandwich of Knowledge. "The bottom tier contains eight strips of bacon, six sausages and four burger paddies; followed by a second tier of black pudding; topped by a third tier comprised of two diced chicken breasts and six fried eggs."

Now, knowledge of what, I don't know. Maybe the knowledge that you are going to die of a massive heart attack while sitting on the terlet with your drawers around your ankles.

14 comments:

debra said...

blargh. Talk about making you queasy.

And black pudding is the most VILE creation on this planet.

Robyn O'Neill said...

That is truly nasty. Aside from the fact that it should never be eaten, who the hell would go to the trouble to prepare it when you can pop a hotdog in the microwave and smother it with ketchup in a fraction of the time?

Jacquie O. said...

Every time I drive by a fast food place and smell fries I have to pause for a moment of mouring.

On another note I had never heard of black pudding. I wonder what it tastes like?

Janine Serresseque said...

Black pudding is a sausage that's popular in England. Penny Lane Pub has it sometimes. It is nondescript tasting, which makes me nervous. Totally embodies the term "Mystery Meat."

debra said...

Black pudding is also called blood sausage. I learned this from my sister's husband's VERY German family who actually eats the sh#@. "BLOOD SAUSAGE". Look it up on Wikipedia. Then you will vomit. And then you will agree with me that it the most vile creation on the planet.

debra said...

Forgive me, I err. Go to Wikipedia and type in Blood Pudding. But really, who cares, I think the point is made...just don't ever eat it.

Jacquie O. said...

Oh God...I thought it was just a funny color of pudding...but now that I know its some sort of meat...YUCK!

debra said...

Ok, Jacquie, you broke me, its, blood, boiled pig or cow blood. With other fillers.

Now I'm going to hurl. And never think or speak of this again. Unless I feel like putting the hurt on someone. Then you may just get an email or voice mail with these words. "Blood Pudding". 'Nuff said.

Janine Serresseque said...

Debra, you are making me laugh out loud. I am going to look up the nutritional value, just for fun.

Jacquie O. said...

I think this may fall under the "Chicken Fried Steak" rule. Black pudding is cow or pig blood? Who makes these names up!? I am just gonna stick to tofu and Italian food. At least the names are normal and I know what I'm putting in my mouth...black pudding...jeez!

JB said...

I had to go to this site and I was mesmerized (sp)- it sure helped me stick to my pre-wedding diet this week.
and whoever came up with blood pudding was probably starving to death.

andy said...

Omigod, I know. It's as if they'd eaten every other part of the animal and then they were like, "Well, there's still this huge puddle of blood left. What can we make out of that?"

Anj said...

They've done it: made fried food unappetizing. The internet is now full.

Karen said...

Got any cheese? Sounds like a quadruple by-pass to me.